Well now sur, Zed Jebediah Fartsmuller is a smart feller, and he's spent must of his life resurchin' beer and beer kegs from these parts and even from some forein lands. Why most folks frum these parts only wish they'd drank as much beer as Zed's spilt (well, sum of them have aktually tasted sum of that spilt beer in Zed's famus possum kebobs that he done up on that ole Hibachi machine there, but we wuzznt gonna say nuthin fer awhile on account that Zeb wuz gonna pass down the sekret recipe to the younguns). With so much experience and trannin' Zed come up on an idea. The sly doggie that he wuz, Zed tol me he figged it wuz better to empty the keg furst before ya toss it. Like I said, Zed's a purty smart feller fer not aktually bein all that bright. Whut he didn't figgure on wuz that problum with acuracy. As we Bubbas figgur you can pick any two (since most of us Bubba's caint count higher than that anyhow)... accurcy / distance / safety . We'll, safetee lost out.

Doc says thangs will be OK in a day or two. He says he can fix the keg rite spiffy and even gussy it up real purty now. We Bubbas wur wurred. Ya' know whut them boys at the Piggly Wiggly charge for a damaged keg?

Zeb's (aw, you know 'im, that's Zed's udder brudder, the one with the six wisdum teeth) head won't. I know, I know, youse is all sayin', "Heynow - Zebs allready a mite up the side of the ugly stick anyhow, ain't he now?" Well, that ain't no fib.

He wuz so ugly, they went and slapped his mama when he wuz born, but now ... I jess don't want to talk 'bout it. We're all askin' owerselfs, "Who's idear wuz it , to hav a keg katcher at the keg toss?"

Sorry Zeb.

Aw hell, Billy Bo sez he can alwayz be the town maskot.

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